The Barefoot Bandit

Dear Police,
Stolen, hotwired, and crashed airplanes (not one, not two, but THREE so far without so much a single flight lesson. ever.), stolen cars, and a whole wack of random other crap taken from upwards of 100 houses. Oh, and a boat that one time. Did I mention the three planes that he just flew away from their hangars?
NOW, with all of that going on right under your blue little noses, I wonder how you havent caught this kid yet? I mean really guys, you couldnt put in a little effort? The taxpayers are relying on you to cover us...
Oh, but wait, I betchya I know whats going on here! Colt (Can I call you Colt?),is so so cool that even the po po are fans. Thats definitly whats going on right here. Yehaw, I'm glad you cops finally did something normal.
Joking aside guys, let him have his fun. He's a legend, theres goning to be a book, and a movie, and face it, even if you did catch him, he'd get away scott free because he'd just fly away from your maximum security prision anyways (and by fly away I mean that someone in the upper admin would be a fan, and would let him out. You know its true).
Keep goin through the motions though, because I know you have to. You Do have families to feed afterall.

Sincerly Yours,

Lia


Now General Public, usually a string of burgalries would lead me to tsk-ing like someones mother, because thats just what I do, but shit, this kid really knows how to work it out. He's bated the police (and man, who HASNT wanted to do that at one point or another?) with these chalk drawings of cartoon feet in the houses he's hit. He took pictures of himself on the go and let the public have them. He's turning himself into a full on legend - He's Robin Hood, he's Jesse James, he's... my age.
Which leads me to the next point. He's a 19 year old outlaw/danger man, he's like freaking 6 foot 5, which means that hes TALLER THAN ME, and hes a full fledged cutie. Hmmm... BOOYA
What the fuck is up Colton Harris - Moore? Wanna come hang out at my place? I'll buy you some really excellent noodles or a chicken burger, really, whatever you like, and we'll make fun of all the hippies. We'll have a really good talk because you're pretty awesome and I'd like to know what makes you tick. I even have a phone you could use to call your mom, because my trashy magazine at work says that you used to do that. Whatdya think bud?

SO, end of the story for now is that I'd like to join the fanclub. Is there a fanclub? If so, where do I join up? Does he do secret meet-and-greets at his fans houses? Could someone get ahold of the book thats being written and get it autographed for me? Pretty please?



SO kids, how do YOU all feel about Colton the Barefoot Bandit?